One Year of Marriage, One Million Lessons
I’ve been on the fence about sharing this to the world, but I feel that it’s necessary. Necessary to show I’m not perfect, my marriage isn’t perfect and no one is perfect. Here goes nothing....
Today marks one year ago that I said I do to my Redneck Romeo.
While marrying my Husband was the greatest decision I ever made, some days I admit, have just been hard....
There are so many people I see post on social media marking their one year anniversary. They describe their one year by saying “It’s been such a wonderful year” or “Everyday I spend with you is the best day of my life”. Please note: I am completely happy for these couples and wish them nothing, but happiness. However, I am realist. I like to keep things honest. So when I tell you I completely love my Husband, I truly do. However, I also am real enough tell you that this year has undoubtedly been one of the hardest.
What I felt those social media posts failed to mention is what a year of marriage consisted of. They left out the fighting/yelling/bickering. They left out the nights of both of you going to bed angry and in separate rooms. They don’t mention the financial struggles you will face. They forgot to mention how annoying it gets after you get married because so many want to rush your life for you now. They ask the never ending questions such “When are you going to buy a house?”, “What’s next?” or my personal favorite- “When should we expect a little one from you two?” You see these things are truly what makes up a marriage. They are the what really happens between each beautifully, well written social media post.
….After an incredibly stressful wedding, my husband and I were really just looking for some peace and quiet in our life. We were wanting to buy a house after our wedding, but just the thought alone was enough to exhaust us all over again. Which is why I became incredibly frustrated when people would ask “You haven’t gotten a house yet?” . I take things way too defensively, but I also feel like people know no filter anymore either. Why is that any of your business? Why do we have to go from one big event to another? People don’t realize what occurs behind closed doors. You don’t know if we’re saving, if we’re trying or if that’s even what we want. Adult pressure would get us down and usually resulting into an argument and make us question if we were really doing as good as we thought.
Or as previously stated, another favorite question that would always boil the blood in our marriage was the question of “When are you going to have kids?”. It’s almost like people ask you this as if to enlighten you. They seem to think you came this far in a relationship and even to the point of marriage and haven’t discussed when we want children. FYI PEOPLE! When we want to have kids, we will have them and you won’t need to ask. Nor should you. You don’t know if someone can have children or if behind closed doors they are desperately trying or if they even want any. Don’t be rude. To those I know having babies right now, awesome for you! Seriously from the bottom of my heart, I couldn’t be happier for you! Some of us out here are fine with just being married and that’s okay too!
On top of the annoying/never ending questions, six months into our marriage, we had to battle some brutal financial setbacks. I won’t go into detail, but communication and budgeting were areas we both neglected in our marriage. This resulted in an epic setback to our possibility of having a house anytime soon. I will not lie to you- it was at the point in our marriage I really questioned a lot. I was so incredibly disappointed and consumed with idea that our current situation would be permanent. I became heart broken over it. Did we get married too soon? Too young? Was this really the life we wanted? Are we both capable of more apart than married? 35% off marriages end as result of financial troubles. I always thought it was ridiculous people could break over money, until one day I was one of those people experiencing it.
….Despite the length and depth of the storm, our marriage was able to weather it. We fought through our differences, the hardships and even lost some friends and family along the way. This year taught us so much…. We realized the negative areas and people we had leave behind. Learned to remain positive no matter how hard it gets. Most of all, I learned my husband is my best friend and biggest fan and I am his. Everyday we face new challenges, but we face them together and as long we are together I know we’ll be able to do it.
It's only been one year, but it has been a year full of one million lessons. Lessons I am proud to say I learned with my best friend.
